Born Sinner by Kenborn Cora

Author:Kenborn, Cora [Kenborn, Cora]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-06-01T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twelve

Lola

My mother has a saying…

Chasing butterflies only leads you into repetitive circles. Pretend they don’t exist, and they’ll flutter back into the palm of your hand.

At ten years old, I took those words at face value. I spent hours sitting cross-legged on the bright green lawns of our estate, my arms spread wide and my palms up.

Waiting.

A butterfly never landed in my hand. They always darted around me, close enough to admire, but just out of reach.

I realize now—as most things with my family—it was a metaphorical warning.

Butterflies are just like boys. Chase them, and they fly away. Leave them be, and they come to you.

A valuable lesson I wish I’d remembered days ago. Four to be exact.

A full ninety-six hours since I’ve seen or heard from Sam.

After our alleyway encounter, he just disappeared—as if successfully breaking me meant there was no more game to play.

He’d won. I’d lost. End of story.

Only it wasn’t—at least for me.

I always have the last word, but he left me speechless while he rode away like some kind of dark knight. So instead of pretending he didn’t exist, what did I do?

I chased a butterfly.

I became the stalker. Driving by his apartment at all hours of the night just to catch a glimpse of him. Casually, inquiring on his whereabouts around campus. And shamefully, standing in the alleyway outside the Foxhole, waiting for him to reappear.

I spun in so many circles, I made myself dizzy.

After four days of silence, I decided it was time to put Eden Lachey Carrera’s motherly advice to the test.

That’s how I ended up here, at a dive college bar, sharing a plate of nachos with some frat boy I don’t even like.

I suppose Alex-what’s-his-name is nice enough—cheap as hell—but nice. However, I’m not interested. Not even those All-American dimples can divert my attention away from the man who owns my thoughts.

I used to crave normalcy—a clichéd, bland existence. Thanks to Sam and his filthy brand of debauchery, I now crave rebellion. I hunger to push boundaries and test my own limits. I wait for the sun to go down so I can dance in darkness.

His darkness.

Sighing, I toss a half-eaten tortilla chip onto my plate and pull a fresh water bottle from my purse. Unscrewing the cap, I drink slowly so I don’t have to talk to my date.

“You know they have water here, right?”

Resting the rim of the bottle against my bottom lip, I give him a half-hearted smile. “I have a rule against drinking things that aren’t sealed.” At his furrowed brow, I add, “A girl can never be too careful.”

But she can definitely be too desperate—something I hope to rectify tonight.

There’s an awkward silence as Alex spins his phone in lazy circles on the table. “So, what’s your major?”

It’s all I can do not to roll my eyes. This is what it’s come to—small talk with a cardboard placeholder.

“Don’t have one yet,” I say, sliding out of the sticky booth. “I’m only a few weeks into my freshman year.

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